Nina Hömmen
Book · Hardcover · In German

Zwischen Single-Sein & falscher Nähe

Between Being Single & False Closeness

Made to hold, mark up, and write in, without pressure and with loving mindfulness toward yourself.

by Nina Hömmen

240 pages · ISBN 9783695171880 · BoD - Books on Demand

Zwischen Single-Sein & falscher Nähe, Book · Hardcover
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Want to know more about the book: content, structure, who it's for? The full story of the book (German)

Reading sample

Contents

This book is a gift to you: to your heart, your soul, and your body. It opens a gentle space where you can recognize old wounds and protective mechanisms, understand them, and integrate them at your own pace, so that relationships become lighter and freer and love feels more nourishing and more real.

Maybe you know this feeling: you long for connection, and yet you notice how old imprints keep leading you back to the same place. This book grew out of exactly that inner conflict, out of knowing what it feels like to be caught between the wish for love and the fear of losing yourself in it.

It is not a self-help guide that promises quick fixes. It is an invitation to understand why relationship patterns repeat, why closeness can sometimes feel threatening, and how you can find your way, step by step, to real connection with yourself and a healthy capacity for relationships.

Across 14 chapters and 240 pages, the book accompanies you with many tools for everyday life on your way to more awareness, connection with yourself, and self-efficacy.

Psychological knowledge, nervous system work, body knowledge, spiritual inspiration, and trauma-sensitive guidance come together in a gentle, coherent process. You learn to better understand your own protective strategies and to make sense of them. They did not appear by chance. They helped you in certain situations in your life. You are free to gently explore whether they are still what you need today, and to have new, strengthening experiences step by step.

Designed as a hardcover to hold, mark up, and write in, this book becomes your personal companion: you can underline what moves you and write your thoughts down in it, without any pressure and with loving mindfulness toward yourself.

Who this book is for

  • For anyone who longs for fulfilling, secure love, whether single or in a relationship
  • For people who want to understand their relationship patterns better and develop new ways of handling closeness and attachment
  • For parents who want to recognize their own imprints and deal more consciously with unconscious patterns
  • For coaches and therapists looking for trauma-sensitive ideas for their work

If you are ready to find yourself again and to experience love in a way that nourishes you instead of exhausting you, this book can be your companion along the way.

Goes well with

Zwischen Single-Sein & falscher Nähe, E-book · PDF
E-book · PDF · In German

Zwischen Single-Sein & falscher Nähe

Between Being Single & False Closeness

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The book is available to you right away, with no waiting, exactly when it feels right for you. As a PDF to read on all your devices, and to print out yourself, mark up, and fill in.

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Zwischen Single-Sein & falscher Nähe, Audiobook · Calmly narrated
Audiobook · Calmly narrated · Audio in German

Zwischen Single-Sein & falscher Nähe

Between Being Single & False Closeness

for listening and settling in

Sometimes reading is too much. Then you can simply listen and let the audiobook keep you company, on a walk, as you fall asleep, or in quiet moments in between.

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Zwischen Single-Sein & falscher Nähe · Book

All 14 chapters at a glance

Why do we long for love and still end up, again and again, in relationships that are not good for us? Often the answers lie deeper than we first assume.

This book takes you on a journey to yourself. In 14 chapters that build on one another, you discover why certain experiences repeat, what lies behind your reactions, and how you can shape a healthy, fulfilling partnership without losing yourself in it.

  1. Why do you keep meeting similar people and similar relationship situations? Why is it sometimes so hard to let go of unhealthy connections, even though you actually want something different?

    This chapter invites you to look at your past relationships from a new perspective. You learn what your experiences can reveal about your inner needs, wounds, and unconscious patterns, and why being single can also carry a special meaning for your personal growth.

  2. Why do some people cling while others pull away as soon as a relationship becomes more serious? Why can even small uncertainties trigger strong feelings?

    You discover how your nervous system and your earlier attachment experiences can shape the way you behave in relationships. Along the way you get to know different attachment patterns and protective strategies, and you learn why closeness sometimes feels unsafe even though you long for it.

  3. How often have you tried to be especially understanding, easygoing, or strong in order to be loved? And how much does your self-worth depend on whether another person wants you?

    This chapter is about your relationship with yourself. You learn why self-acceptance, self-love, and authenticity are an important foundation for fulfilling partnerships, and what can change when you stop making your own worth depend on outside approval.

  4. Why can a late reply suddenly set off a fear of loss? Why do some situations hit you harder than you can explain to yourself?

    Here you learn what role your thoughts, feelings, and emotional triggers play. You discover why you may perceive certain situations differently from how they actually are, and how you can develop a more conscious way of dealing with your inner reactions.

  5. You long for love, but as soon as someone comes closer you become unsure? Or you are constantly afraid of losing a person who matters to you?

    This chapter looks at fears of closeness, commitment, loss, rejection, and losing control. You learn how old wounds can influence your relationships today, and why seemingly contradictory behavior often hides a deeper need for protection.

  6. “I am not enough.” “I will be left anyway.” “Love hurts.”

    Perhaps you know thoughts like these, even though you would actually wish for something else.

    This chapter shows you how deeply rooted beliefs come about and how they can quietly shape your choice of partner, your expectations, and your behavior. You learn why certain convictions seem to confirm themselves again and again, and why they do not have to remain your truth forever.

  7. Which qualities do you wish for in a partner? And which of them can you already develop today in your relationship with yourself?

    This is about self-care, personal values, needs, and healthy boundaries. You discover why it matters so much to get to know yourself better before you decide which person truly suits you.

  8. Do you sometimes feel that your life will only really begin once you are finally in a happy relationship?

    This chapter invites you to turn your attention to your own life. You learn why personal fulfillment, joy, friendships, and your own dreams do not have to wait for a future partner, and how this can also change your attitude toward love.

  9. How long do past disappointments keep influencing the decisions you make today? And what does it actually mean to make peace with old wounds?

    This chapter deals with personal responsibility, forgiveness, and letting go of burdensome experiences. You learn how you can acknowledge your past without letting it keep defining you, and why forgiveness does not mean approving of hurtful behavior.

  10. What does a relationship look like in which you truly feel at ease? What does love mean to you personally, regardless of what you have experienced so far or what others have taught you about it?

    This chapter invites you to rediscover your own wishes, values, and ideas of partnership. You learn how dreaming and visualizing can help you turn your gaze toward the future and see more clearly which kind of love you truly want.

  11. How can you open up to someone again without falling back into old relationship patterns? And how do you recognize whether strong attraction can also lead to a healthy connection?

    This is about meeting new people openly and consciously at the same time. You learn why emotional availability, shared values, readiness for a relationship, and mutual respect matter at least as much as the first butterflies.

  12. Do you find it hard to give up control, to accept support, or to simply let yourself fall in a relationship? Or do you often put your own wishes aside to keep the peace?

    This chapter is about the balance between giving and receiving, strength and softness, activity and letting go, and control and trust. You discover how these different qualities can influence your relationships, independent of fixed gender roles.

  13. What distinguishes a healthy partnership from a relationship in which insecurity, misunderstandings, and hurt keep repeating?

    This chapter shows you how much honest communication, mutual understanding, trust, forgiveness, and a constructive way of handling conflict matter. You learn why challenges are allowed to arise even in a loving relationship, and how growing together and new experiences of safety become possible.

  14. What happens when you understand your own patterns better, yet in everyday life you still sometimes slip back into old ways of behaving?

    The final chapter accompanies you in bringing the insights of the book into your life. It invites you to notice your development consciously, to ask yourself important questions, and to continue on your personal path with more understanding and trust.

    Because you do not have to be completely healed, free of fear, or perfect to be allowed to experience love.

What this book is really about

Zwischen Single-Sein & falscher Nähe (Between Being Single & False Closeness) is more than a book about finding a partner, fear of commitment, or being alone. It is an invitation to understand yourself better, to recognize old relationship patterns, and to find out what you truly want from love.

Because between being single and a closeness in which you lose yourself, there is a third way: a healthy, conscious, and fulfilling love in which you are allowed to stay entirely yourself.